How to tell your partner that you are not happy in your relationship | list (2023)

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Most people want to feel happy in their relationships. So when we end up feeling like we're more of a burden, it can be confusing, frustrating, and deeply annoying. People struggle with their relationships all the time. In fact, sometimes going through something difficult can make you come out stronger on the other side.

Why do people feel unhappy in a relationship?

People get to this point for a variety of reasons. You may feel like you've become different people since you've been together. There's nothing wrong with that: people change. However, it can be difficult for a relationship to keep up with the change, especially if you haven't had a chance to talk about what's going on.

Maybe you feel like you're not spending enough time together, or that it's just not relaxing or fun when you do.

Or maybe you're just not sure. You may not be able to figure it out, all you know is that you liked being in this relationship and now you don't know anymore.

How to find out why you are unhappy in a relationship

Sometimes the best way to figure out why you're not happy in a relationship is to think about what you want. It means taking the time to really talk to yourself and understand why you feel the way you do. You might want to ask yourself a few questions, such as:

  • When did I start feeling this way?
  • Are there times when I feel more like this? Or less?
  • What would make me happier?

It's not always easy to figure out these things, but trying to make progress can be really helpful when it comes to talking to your partner about what you're going through.

(Video) Girlfriend Not Happy-What To Do-RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Talk to your partner about feeling unhappy in your relationship

Talking to your partner can be scary, embarrassing, and uncomfortable. But it can also be a very, very helpful way to get to the bottom of things and see if we can work it out together.

It can be a little tempting in relationships to expect them to understand you. After all, by the time they're with you, they should already know how you're feeling, right? And if they don't, they have tolearn. GUT?

Well no. The truth is: we are all individuals. We cannot read the minds of others. Freezing them will give them no more clue than writing a message in a bottle and throwing it into the sea.

Try it. You may also find the following tips helpful:

  • Try to focus on your own feelings and notblame your partnerfor things Use 'I' phrases: 'I think', 'I feel', 'I want'. That way, you own what you are saying, you are not attacking it, and you are more likely to be listened to.
  • Hear what they say: Relationships are all about collaboration. They have their own way of looking at things, and you need to understand them as much as they need to understand yours.
  • Stay calm. If you feel like things are getting a little heated or emotional, try to take some time off and come back to things later.

And in case you have to mention it, if you're thinking of doing this over text or social media, just don't do it.

Much luck!

This content was created in collaboration with Status as part of their#Best BreakupsCampaign.

(Video) Signs You Are Not Happy In Your Relationship // Beloved

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(Video) This Is Why You’re Not Happy In Your Relationship


How to tell your partner you are not happy in a relationship? ›

Talking to your partner about feeling unhappy in your relationship
  1. Try to focus on your own feelings, and not blame your partner for stuff. Use 'I' phrases: 'I think', 'I feel', 'I want'. ...
  2. Listen to what they're saying - relationships are about working together. ...
  3. Keep calm.

How do you tell your partner you are not getting enough? ›

How to tell someone they aren't pulling their weight in your relationship
  1. Be prepared for the conversation. ...
  2. Make sure you know what you need in the relationship. ...
  3. Tell your partner what you need from them rather than just explaining what they aren't doing. ...
  4. Make sure you're doing these things for them too.
Aug 28, 2018

What do you do when your partner says you're unhappy? ›

7 things you can do if you think your partner is unhappy
  1. Notice it and ask about it. ...
  2. Acknowledge them. ...
  3. Honour yourself. ...
  4. Suggest some help. ...
  5. Take on the load, when appropriate. ...
  6. Be supportive in a meaningful way. ...
  7. Help them to redefine what “happy” is.
Jul 24, 2017

How do you tell your spouse you are not happy? ›

How to Talk to Your Husband About Being Unhappy
  1. Talk about your own feelings. ...
  2. Talk about what you want instead of what you don't want. ...
  3. Acknowledge your fear. ...
  4. Remind him you are committed and hopeful. ...
  5. Admit that you are willing to work at it, too.

How do you communicate when you are unsatisfied? ›

5 Tips on Effectively Communicating with Dissatisfied Customers
  1. Create a Comfort Zone by Communicating Through Their Preferred Channels. ...
  2. Listen Attentively and Don't Use Scripted Responses. ...
  3. Sincere Apologies Will Make Them Feel You Care. ...
  4. Keep Your Tone Polite and Show Eagerness to Help.
Jun 7, 2016

Why do I feel so unhappy in my relationship? ›

Sometimes, couples are unhappy because they feel bored in a relationship, or because both partners have lost the physical spark they used to have. At other times, there may be extreme jealousy present in the relationship, or perhaps a severe case of emotional manipulation.

When to say enough is enough in a relationship? ›

One way to know when enough is enough in a relationship is if you realize that your partner does not value you. When couples value each other, their mutual love and respect become stronger. If your partner values you, they will always seek your consent on crucial matters.

What is enough in a relationship? ›

The “Good Enough” Relationship

In a good enough relationship, people have high expectations for how they're treated. They expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. They do not tolerate emotional or physical abuse. They expect their partner to be loyal.

Am I needy or do I just have needs? ›

The big difference between neediness and having needs. Being needy: Being needy means there is no emotional ownership from one or both partners. It means we aren't independently regulating our emotions; instead, projecting insecurities or self-doubt onto someone else and asking them to manage those feelings for us.

How do you know when to end a relationship? ›

Here, experts explain some of the signs that indicate it may be time to let go:
  1. Your needs aren't being met.
  2. You're seeking those needs from others.
  3. You're scared to ask for more from your partner.
  4. Your friends and family don't support your relationship.
  5. You feel obligated to stay with your partner.
Aug 27, 2018

Can you love someone and still be unhappy? ›

(Yes, you can love someone but still be unhappy.) “Ask yourself: If today is my last day, can I say that I'm in the relationship that I want to be in? That I deserve to be in?” says Branson. If the answers are no, acknowledge that what you want does matter—and that it ultimately might be worth ending your relationship.

How do you tell your boyfriend you're struggling? ›

  1. Be aware of the potential outcomes. Things could go one of a lot of ways. ...
  2. Wait until you're ready. There is no rush. ...
  3. Practice. ...
  4. Start with text if you're uncomfortable speaking face-to-face communication. ...
  5. Choose a time when you're feeling well. ...
  6. Be clear. ...
  7. Do your research. ...
  8. Use the “sandwich” strategy.
Nov 16, 2017

How do you break up with someone you love? ›

What to Say and How to Say It
  1. Tell your BF or GF that you want to talk about something important.
  2. Start by mentioning something you like or value about the other person. ...
  3. Say what's not working (your reason for the break-up). ...
  4. Say you want to break up. ...
  5. Say you're sorry if this hurts. ...
  6. Say something kind or positive.

How do I tell my husband I am not in the mood? ›

02/6Just be honest and say, "I don't feel like it today." As easy as it can get, simply tell your man that you're not in the mood today. Trust us when we say this, it might not even sound as bad as you think it would. When you're honest, your partner will understand and not take it the wrong way.

What do you say to an unhappy wife? ›

You have an unhappy wife. What can you say?
  • Can you please tell me what is happening to us? ...
  • I'm worried about us. ...
  • I can see my part in all of this. ...
  • I'm sorry that I …. ...
  • What do you need from me right now? ...
  • I need you. ...
  • Let's go on a date like we used to. ...
  • You and our children are my first priority.
Apr 19, 2018

What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or is refusing to communicate with another person.

What is considered the bare minimum in a relationship? ›

Bare minimum is someone who likes you, vaguely listen to you speak sometimes, goes on date if you plan them but don't put effort into plan them or into making you feel special in any way. They might say I love you when prompted, but don't say it on their own and don't express love in any meaningful way.

What to do when you're not getting enough attention from your partner? ›

How to Improve Your Relationship
  1. Stop begging for your partner's attention. ...
  2. Focus on yourself instead. ...
  3. Stop trying to control your partner. ...
  4. Examine your behavior. ...
  5. Ask what your partner needs. ...
  6. Provide positive reinforcement. ...
  7. Communicate. ...
  8. Consider therapy.
Jan 24, 2022

How do I tell him I need more effort? ›

How do you tell your boyfriend he needs to make more effort?
  1. Pick an appropriate TIME. ...
  2. Find something to PRAISE. ...
  3. Focus on HOW YOU FEEL first. ...
  4. Then state WHY. ...
  5. Clarify your NEED. ...
  6. Make a REQUEST or INVITE them to solve the problem with you. ...
  7. THANK them for listening. ...


1. Signs you are not happy in your relationship anymore
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2. How Do You Know if Your Partner is Happy With Your Relationship?
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3. Signs Your Ex Is Not Happy In Their New Relationship
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6. This Is Why Happy People STILL CHEAT In A Relationship... | Esther Perel & Matthew Hussey
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